just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
