Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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