I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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