On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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