I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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