Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
