im gay
i know
yea but for you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
His hands were made for my vagina.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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