I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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