I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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