very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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