rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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