Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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