u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
