The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
