I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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