So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I smell like Dick and happiness
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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