My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
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Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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