Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
