he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
