smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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