That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
