I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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