my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
