Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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