I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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