Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
