i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You are a genius and a whore.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
