whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
