Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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