are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
