..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
