remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
