it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
