Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
