ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
