i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
