You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
