Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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