maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
