I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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