She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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