i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
nutella sex= disaster
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We don't watch enough power rangers
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
