It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
