it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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