she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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