I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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