me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
