you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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