When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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