you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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