So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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