So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
