i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
