It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
