Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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