Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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