so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize