I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize