i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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