Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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  (413): so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up http://tfl.nu/rtem
  Replies (23) Good night (3729) Bad night (598)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  LETS GO REDSKINS!

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.

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  (540): LETS GO REDSKINS! (276): Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday. http://tfl.nu/15rh
  Replies (25) Good night (5338) Bad night (893)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  I respect that

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  (508): I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice (1-508): I respect that http://tfl.nu/enis
  Replies (53) Good night (9871) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Walk of Shame time yet?

  (1+44): View more from

  Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?

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  (+44): Walk of Shame time yet? (1+44): Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling? http://tfl.nu/qcn9
  Replies (44) Good night (19052) Bad night (1715)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex

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  (336): and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex http://tfl.nu/hs2b
  Replies (23) Good night (6544) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.

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  (904): He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college. http://tfl.nu/3hcf
  Replies (19) Good night (2640) Bad night (6116)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?

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  (563): If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from? http://tfl.nu/xs7j
  Replies (7) Good night (1805) Bad night (3213)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.

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  (630): He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together. http://tfl.nu/tn1p
  Replies (8) Good night (2928) Bad night (1710)
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  (315): View more from New York

  JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...

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  (315): JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room... http://tfl.nu/oonq
  Replies (5) Good night (3787) Bad night (803)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.

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  (360): I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/g0ca
  Replies (6) Good night (1525) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  Best Friends For Life.

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  (815): You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub. (1-815): Best Friends For Life. http://tfl.nu/ev62
  Replies (7) Good night (3500) Bad night (676)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.

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  (867): We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/l33f
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (477)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.

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  (330): Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive. http://tfl.nu/6c5n
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (311)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time

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  (262): And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time http://tfl.nu/233l
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT

  (310): View more from California

  NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS

  (310): View more from California

  NOTHING

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  (310): NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT (310): NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS (310): NOTHING http://tfl.nu/o973
  Replies (12) Good night (579) Bad night (275)

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