Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station. (1-603): The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS. http://tfl.nu/opvz
  Replies (24) Good night (7173) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning http://tfl.nu/sax1
  Replies (35) Good night (629) Bad night (4979)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart. http://tfl.nu/xtrr
  Replies (13) Good night (3503) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night. http://tfl.nu/bjzh
  Replies (20) Good night (6896) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed. http://tfl.nu/zn3p
  Replies (22) Good night (5199) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated. http://tfl.nu/0c6p
  Replies (15) Good night (1084) Bad night (4324)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together. http://tfl.nu/tn1p
  Replies (8) Good night (2868) Bad night (1643)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN http://tfl.nu/wx6s
  Replies (7) Good night (2489) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy. http://tfl.nu/xqei
  Replies (11) Good night (3526) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested. http://tfl.nu/d2mk
  Replies (11) Good night (807) Bad night (3356)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating. http://tfl.nu/5a1l
  Replies (10) Good night (2450) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me http://tfl.nu/3gz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1304) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding http://tfl.nu/o6yr
  Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways http://tfl.nu/0cc7
  Replies (0) Good night (886) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it http://tfl.nu/wnc3
  Replies (0) Good night (382) Bad night (223)

Randomize