just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.