Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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