we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
