That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
