There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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