apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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